I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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