How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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