dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize