Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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