I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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