Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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