I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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