I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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