ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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