Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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