I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize