There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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