based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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