I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You can't motorboat a personality
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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