yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize