It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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