did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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