i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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