U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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