My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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