LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize