Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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