im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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