Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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