Your face is a jimmy john
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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