I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize