Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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