My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize