I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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