Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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