my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize