I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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