I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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