how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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