Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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