Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize