fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize