i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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