Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize