I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize