i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize