evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize