dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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