you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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