I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Jerry, you need to find god
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm always down for nudity.
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