ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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