Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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