When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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