Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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