Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize